What Is It Like To Be Loved?

This one is all thanks to my best friend who asked me this question and consequently shocked me into the realisation that it was high time to do what I haven't in a long time. Write, that is. So. Here it is.

I used to think that feeling loved was all about another person, what they did, the affection that they decide to give you. I also thought romantic love was different from all the other ways in which we love people. Something magical and spontaneous, something that strikes us like divine lightning. I was wrong on both accounts.

Feeling loved, to be loved, it's not about another person. It is about you. It is about being vulnerable, it is about being ready to and showing the other person questionable parts of yourself, it is about putting yourself out there. And honestly, it's often much easier to show a whole other person a physical scar or mark you dislike, than who you are. Who you are isn't physical. It has nothing to do with that. It's not your face or your hands or your waist. But it is what you feel about all those parts of yourself. It is the colors you love, the songs you can't get out of your head, it's your dreams, it's your fear of abandonment, your anxiety, your doubts. And only if you show another person that, only when you do that, can they show you that they love you. Only then can they show you that they choose you, despite all that you dislike in yourself and indeed, regardless of it. If you find it in yourself to be the most vulnerable you can be, then you get to see what it's like to be loved. Of course, this can go one of two ways, but it's worth the possible hurt. What can hurt do to you after all?

But when you are loved, it is knowing that whatever you do, whatever you say, whatever you think, whoever you are, you will be chosen. Again and again and again. The parts that you dislike will be embraced, the parts that you are insecure about will be called pretty and looked at with adoration. But this is all still you. It's you letting yourself be loved more than anything else.

And romantic love is not different from all the ones. Not in the least. Any and all love is showing yourself to the people you love and knowing that they wouldn't take you any other way. When you hold your hand out before crossing a road without thinking about it, knowing that it will be held, that is love. It is telling someone you like something and them remembering it. It is a person wanting to know why exactly you don't like that particular color or that pattern. It is looking at someone looking at you, and seeing the love, even if you think you look questionable.

You are always loved, it's just that you need to let yourself be loved.